· 6 min read ·
What if everything you experience is not only an individual story?
A relationship that always seems to end in the same way.
A role you always seem to take within your family.
A fear that is difficult to explain.
A feeling that you have to take care of everyone.
A difficulty finding your place.
A pattern that seems to repeat itself, even when you know what you would like to change.
Sometimes, understanding more is not enough.
Sometimes, we need to look differently.
What is a Belonging Ritual?
The Belonging Ritual draws from Family Constellations and systemic work.
We all belong to different systems: our family, our relationships, our environment.
These systems can influence how we develop, relate to others and find our place.
Family Constellations were developed as a systemic method by Bert Hellinger from the 1980s onwards. The approach uses, among other things, spatial representations of a system to make certain dynamics more visible.
Patterns, loyalties and entanglements
Within this approach, we can explore certain patterns; those ways of relating or responding that seem to come back again and again.
Roles.
Unconscious loyalties.
Relationships.
Exclusions.
Family events that may have left an imprint on the way a family functions.
The term entanglements is sometimes used to describe situations where the way we are seems connected to a wider dynamic beyond our conscious personal story.
The perspective can also be transgenerational: exploring how family history, events and ways of functioning may influence subsequent generations.
It is a way of looking at your story with a little more distance.
Why might this be useful?
You may recognise yourself in some of these:
“I know this pattern is no longer good for me, but I keep repeating it.”
“I always take responsibility for other people.”
“I cannot seem to find my place.”
“I understand it intellectually, but something still does not change.”
“Why does this relationship always make me react in the same way?”
“I feel like I am carrying something that does not entirely belong to me.”
A constellation can offer another perspective.
It does not seek to find someone to blame or one definitive cause.
Instead, it can create some distance, make certain relationships or dynamics more visible and allow us to explore what may need to be seen differently.
Perhaps you discovered Family Constellations through Another Self (Zeytin Ağacı).
The Netflix series Another Self helped introduce Family Constellations to a much wider audience.
The series follows 3 women confronting wounds and dynamics connected to their family histories.
The fiction touches on a central idea within systemic work: sometimes looking at our lives within a wider context allows us to see what we could not see from the inside.
What happens during a Belonging Ritual?
We begin by talking about what brings you here.
It may be a relationship, a recurring situation, a family question or simply something you would like to understand differently.
Then, depending on what feels right, we may represent certain elements of your system using objects or positions in space. In a group setting, other people may also take part as representatives within your constellation.
You observe.
I guide you.
We may move certain elements, explore different positions or simply stay with what emerges.
You do not need to tell your whole story.
You do not need to know your entire family history.
And you do not need to arrive with an answer.
The question may be enough to begin.
What might you experience?
A constellation can be very gentle.
It can also be touching.
You may experience surprise, relief, sadness, anger or simply a new understanding.
You may also feel nothing in particular.
There is no expected outcome.
The experience may simply open up a new perspective.
Your story belongs to you
Some things can feel sensitive.
You never have to share something you do not wish to share.
I work with gentleness and respect for your pace.
I always explain what we are going to do, and you remain free at every stage.
You can ask for a pause or stop.
Anything shared during the session is treated with discretion and confidentiality.
And afterwards?
You may leave with an answer.
Or a question.
A sense of clarity.
An emotion.
Or simply a new way of looking at something you thought you already understood.
There is no need to understand everything immediately.
Some insights need time to find their place.
I therefore encourage you to allow a few days to pass before returning to the exploration we have done.
My training
My Family Constellations practice is grounded in in-depth training, complemented by practical work and case studies as part of my certification.
My approach is also informed by my other training and practices.
Sometimes, understanding where a movement comes from, allows you to choose differently where to go next.
– Maeva
Sometimes, understanding where you come from helps you move forward more freely.
